be conscious/ of who draws you and who not.

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three conversations:

brother: were you disappointed
because you thought your friendship was stronger than that

~

darrelle: cynthia is probably way way way diff than she was in sc
but i still view her as the same person so its weird

~

ruth: so i guess what im saying is, before it even begins, dont be too bogged down by all these things
you gotta take it in your stride
and its gonna really toughen you up

me: yeah!! sometimes i think it’s just that i feel ill suited for the environment

ruth: i think you are too
you should probably be doing something creative
but you’ll find your way

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untitled

by Rainer Maria Rilke

I love the dark hours of my being.
My mind deepens into them.
There I can find, as in old letters,
the days of my life, already lived,
and held like a legend, and understood.
Then the knowing comes: I can open
to another life that’s wide and timeless.

So I am sometimes like a tree
rustling over a gravesite
and making real the dream
of the one its living roots
embrace:

a dream once lost
among sorrows and songs.