bricks of carelessness

it’s strange to say that I’m thankful when I have no faith, but what else do you say when you know that fortune has come to you not because of your own efforts? even saying that it is fortune sounds odd- ultimately it is what it is, and it says nothing about my future or what kind of person that I am. Holding that in mind, and balancing it with a directionless, half-formed gratitude- I move forward. Slowly but maybe gaining surety with each step.

feelings update: not terrible

so in pretending you don’t feel a particular way you can actually psych yourself out of feeling it… you can really fake it till you make it. question is, how do i fake myself out of my current personality?

ngl though, seeing an*nd nodding when the mentor said he thought i had mooting experience was really all the validation i needed for the day. i always ALWAYS forget how good it feels when someone i respect recognises that i’ve done something well